As I sat on my bed on a bright Saturday morning, I looked around my room and felt my anxiety rising. It was a mess, I needed to pack for the Nest. Once again I was feeling unprepared as my mind scrambled to organize myself and figure out what the upcoming week would all entail. I opened my journal, ready to write out my frustration that I have been feeling lately.
A story then came to mind. Matthew 14:22-32; Jesus walks on the water. A story I grew up knowing, but one whose meaning completely changed as the Lord whispered it into my heart.
I strongly dislike water and have learned I am not a huge fan of change. So I compared Peter walking out into the water as me walking through all the change and new experiences in my life. It is scary. Stepping out in faith and obedience is not meant to be easy. Was it easy for Peter to step out of that boat? No way. Life can be suffocating if you allow it to be. I began to see the waves Peter walked out on come to life in my head. My desire for perfection. For control. My attempt to always try and do it alone. To do it for my glory and not His. I strongly dislike water and have learned I am not a huge fan of change.
Then for Peter to take his eye from Jesus. To fall into the waves. The fear and panic I can imagine him feeling hit me. He lost his focus on the Lord. He looked at the waves and was overwhelmed. The waves that try to suck us into the world and steal our joy. Waves that lap up and cause us to lose our focus on the one who sustains us and gives us our purpose.
But then in verse thirty-one. It was like a balm on my troubled heart and mind. Jesus immediately reached for Peter when he cried out to be saved. Time and time again, the Lord will gently pursue us and never leave, even as we look away and focus on trying to take control.
There is joy, blessing, and promise in obedience. As the Nest has transitioned and feels as though it is being tossed and turned in the waves of life, we must hold tight to our Lord’s hand. We must strive to look constantly to Him. Knowing that the staff, volunteers, and residents will walk strongly over the waves and towards the plans and promises the Lord has for this special place. We must rid ourselves of the doubt that creeps up, knowing that our God is with us, and that this place and all who come through are His. We just get the pleasure of being a part of his workmanship.
As I closed my journal. I looked around my room and thought of my schedule as an opportunity to walk closer with the Lord; to focus on Him. I packed with a lighter heart knowing that I was just a couple hours away from seeing the precious lives that the Lord has entrusted to me. I sent up a prayer for strength and of thankfulness. Thankfulness for the God who loves us enough to send his Son to save us from the waves.
“Truly you are the Son of God” Matthew 14:33